New Directions today had its debut at McKinley’s pep assembly, pulling off a less than classy, whore-ish show choir number that had students on their feet — and their parents on their phones. Word is P. Figg has had to entertain calls and mails from concerned parents about the number. “He’s concerned, yeah, but he’s also impressed by how the glee kids entertained the students,” says our faculty insider. SuSy, however, is bent on having New Directions disbanded after the “offensive” presentation. “We cannot tolerate public lasciviousness in this school. Any self-respecting institution simply can’t have it.” New Directions lead Rachel Berry admits that the number was a means of getting the students’ attention. “Glee club is all about expressing yourself,” R tells us. “As teenagers we have to acknowledge the fact that we are driven by our hormones stronger than any organic fiber in our body, that’s why we chose ‘Push It’ as our performance piece.” Senior transferee Bethany Byrd (pictured, inset) seems to agree. “When I was watching Finn Hudson grind it on stage, so much blood flowed into my vagina I thought I was going to menstruate. It was awesome. Finn is awesome.” So tell us, McKinley: Was the performance so awesome it made blood flow into your privates? You can post your thoughts on our Formspring page: omfglee. Alternatively, you can reach us through omfglee@gmail.com. We’ll be sure to update you what becomes of New Directions after ‘Push It’. Wouldn’t want them to go, would you? ‘Cause really, you know you love glee.

New Directions today had its debut at McKinley’s pep assembly, pulling off a less than classy, whore-ish show choir number that had students on their feet — and their parents on their phones.

Word is P. Figg has had to entertain calls and mails from concerned parents about the number. “He’s concerned, yeah, but he’s also impressed by how the glee kids entertained the students,” says our faculty insider.

SuSy, however, is bent on having New Directions disbanded after the “offensive” presentation. “We cannot tolerate public lasciviousness in this school. Any self-respecting institution simply can’t have it.”

New Directions lead Rachel Berry admits that the number was a means of getting the students’ attention. “Glee club is all about expressing yourself,” R tells us. “As teenagers we have to acknowledge the fact that we are driven by our hormones stronger than any organic fiber in our body, that’s why we chose ‘Push It’ as our performance piece.”

Senior transferee Bethany Byrd (pictured, inset) seems to agree. “When I was watching Finn Hudson grind it on stage, so much blood flowed into my vagina I thought I was going to menstruate. It was awesome. Finn is awesome.”

So tell us, McKinley: Was the performance so awesome it made blood flow into your privates? You can post your thoughts on our Formspring page: omfglee. Alternatively, you can reach us through omfglee@gmail.com. We’ll be sure to update you what becomes of New Directions after ‘Push It’. Wouldn’t want them to go, would you? ‘Cause really, you know you love glee.